What To Do When Coffee Isn’t Enough

It has happened to the best of us. The head jerks and blank stares as you try and pay attention to your boring college professor go on about material that does not have any fucking relevance to your life, the eye twitch and mini body seizure as your body fights the battle to stay awake. You wish you had a cup of coffee the size of your face, but you already have a lukewarm cup of Depth Charge right in front of you. Oh no… how are you going to stay awake?

My Best Methods

  • Go to the bathroom and take a quick 10 minute nap on the toilet.
  • Open your eyes really wide so it looks like you are intrigued and wide awake in class.
  • Create a cardboard cutout of yourself and place it on your chair as you go home to take a nap.
  • Tell your professor you have an uncontrollable sleeping condition which causes you to fall asleep at sudden times through-out the class.
  • Stand up and tell your professor to play music and bring in the Dancing Lobsters.

Music Choice: The sweet sound of Accounting. UGGGGGGGHHHHHH…


One thought on “What To Do When Coffee Isn’t Enough

  1. chloegerhardson

    I found that yawning the biggest, most obnoxious yawn you can muster out of your sleep-deprived self, will result in a “well, I guess we will end there today. I’m sensing a lack of energy.”


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