How Rude It Is Not To Be Rude

UM HELLO.

If I am having a face-to-face conversation with you and you notice a four course meal nudged in-between my teeth, wouldn’t it be a grand gesture to let me know instead of watching me make a fool of myself (although this might be the more satisfying alternative)? Time and time again as I am serving people coffee or smiling and laughing as if everything is right in the world, no one tells me I have something on my face or in my teeth or coming out of my head. BE RUDE TO ME. Well, not rude as in “Hey bitch, are you saving that for later?” but give me a SIGN or something. If my friend has a booger coming out of her nose I’ll rub under my nose so she does the same. If someone has something in their teeth I’ll ask them to smile, and since the question of asking for a smile is SO PECULIAR in this day-and-age they will definitely know something is up. The moral of the story is: It’s rude not to point out imperfections… in certain cases…

Music Choice: Just The Way You Are – Bruno Mars. “Cause you’re amazing, just the way you are” is the perfect way to finish telling someone they have something in their teeth. You just might actually get a date, too.

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