Viewer Discretion is Advised: This material may come off as pessimistic and might crush some of your dreams.
The other day I was looking through my phone’s notes for a list of songs I wrote down to make a playlist and I came across a silly little list of qualities “The Perfect Guy” needs to have. After reading this list, I wanted to time travel back in time when silly me wrote this list and give myself a bitch slap to the face. I was probably watching the Notebook or some other Ryan Goseling film while writing this list because these qualities are UNREALISTIC. Let’s see… “is nice to me”, “a little taller than me but not too tall”, “watches chick flicks with me”, “makes fun of me but in a good way”. WTF WAS I THINKING? I don’t want the perfect guy to be nice to me all the time. I need someone who can get sarcastic and a little mean so I know he’s not a little bitch and can take a joke. To think I would’ve produced this list of irrelevant bullshit? Ugh, this list makes me so angry. A perfect guy shouldn’t have to buy you tampons at the store or surprise you with flowers. THE PERFECT GUY SHOULDN’T EVEN BE GOOD LOOKING. Good looking men are too full of themselves and take longer than you do to get ready. The perfect guy should be an Average Joe. A white t-shirt and a little scruff is fine. If he’s sweet that’s AWESOME and remembering birthdays is just a plus. Never expect what you see in the movies to show up at your front door. You’re lucky if the perfect guy shows up on time. If a man is intellectually stimulating, can support himself and still come home faithfully to me, that’s about as good as it gets.
In conclusion, here is an updated list of my version of “The Perfect Man”:
– knows how to do his own laundry, reads books, has a job, can have a conversation with me without staring at my non-existent boobs, interests me, can make a mean cup of coffee, listens to music, eats, sleeps, breathes.
I’m positive this list will grow as I grow older, but for now my perspective on men is to be continued. Basically, there is no such thing as “perfect” so stop waiting for something that will never happen and get with that guy from your Econ class.
Music Choice: “Comes and Goes (In Waves)” by Greg Laswell. I highly recommend.