Coffee Dates With Karma

Karma: One large coffee please, extra hot, black.

Clarissa: Um.. I’ll take a small non-fat chai, please.

Karma: So Clarissa, I’ve wanted to meet with you for quite sometime now. I’m under the impression that you think I’m a bitch?

Clarissa: Yeah Karma. I think you’re a bitch and I think you’ve been treating me quite unfairly.

Karma: What makes you say that?

Clarissa: Well, it seems that this semester has been somewhat difficult for me and you’re not helping at all. I don’t understand why since I’ve remained on your good side for a majority of my life. Do you remember that time I helped out at the soup kitchen during Christmas break? Or when I gave a homeless man a dollar and my half eaten cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory? That’s a big sacrifice.

Karma: Yes, I remember very clearly, but you see, Clarissa, remember that time you punched one of your brothers in the face when you were young and gave him a black eye?

Clarissa: Yes, but I was 10 and very annoying!

Karma: I’m sorry to inform you that I’ve forgotten about that until recently.

Clarissa: So you’re telling me since I punched my brother in the face 9 years ago, I’ve had to lose my i.d several times, have professors who like to give book-long readings and pop quizzes every week, almost get in a fight with a MUNI driver, been concussed and get hit by a car?

Karma: Yeah. I guess I really am a bitch.

Clarissa: I’m starting to think you’re the kind of person who prefers lemon bars over chocolate croissants.

Karma: Well Clarissa, are there any other questions or concerns you have for me? I must say I am running late, for I have other errands to run and lives to make miserable.

Clarissa: Yeah. Karma, what happens when people do good things? Do you reward them right away, or do I have to wait?

*spills hot chai all over lap*

Clarissa: I guess I’ll just wait.

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