The Key To Happiness Locked Me Out Of My Car

Ever have one of those bad days where nothing seems to be going right then realize that’s basically how every day has been for the past nineteen years of your life?

Holy shit, that sounded depressing as fuck. I am not depressed, I swear.

Back to my point. You may have a few really good days when you find a dollar in your pocket or your mom made your favorite food for dinner, but these days are considered only temporary happy moments in this thing called life and trigger the smallest portion of dopamine to the brain of the common American.

Don’t get me wrong, after a hard week of school I’m all for going to the local liquor store and buying myself a handle of the cheapest vodka so I can party like it’s 1999 as I drown my sorrows (a.k.a my memory of homework) with my friends and call this “happiness”.

What I’m trying to ask, or rhetorically ask I should say, is why do people make the common mistake of looking at a situation apprehensively waiting for positive results? Can’t people be happy with what is in front of them whether or not it’s good? My dog taking a shit on my shoe would not be the highlight of my day, but it’s better than not having a dog at all or not having a shoe on my foot.

People only wish to see the good in life, of course, and they wish for anything good to come knocking at their door asking for their hand in marriage. Well, NEWSFLASH. You’re ugly and happiness already found someone else. What’s more desirable? Winning the lottery or crashing your car? Winning the lottery is a primary choice for the common idiot. You may have acquired a large sum of green paper printed by the government with faces of dead people on it, but you have also acquired paying higher taxes, friends of falsehood and a house full of expensive hookers drinking all your booze. By choosing to crash your car, there is a chance it was the other driver’s fault and now their insurance company is obligated to pay you more than what your car, your house and your wife is worth.

Look at things differently this year. Maybe you’ll be happier because of it.

Music Choice: “Cool Kids” by Echosmith. My anthem. Or maybe it’s the counter-anthem? Maybe it’s everyone else’s anthem? I being them. Cool Kids being I. Basically, I’m the cool kid.


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