I Survived an EDM Show

Last night my Jesuit university hosted a concert with a strange combination of artists St. Lucia and Krewella (lol). Never would I have expected Krewella to step foot in our gym and bring out every EDM lover’s inner wild child. I’m not a big fan of EDM, yet I couldn’t help myself to join in while everyone around me was jumping and sharing the same bodily fluids. Yum.

Well, you guessed it. I’m writing a blurb of my observations.

First, it might seem attractive for the ladies to wear the least amount of clothing possible while still looking “cute”, but all night I wished I wore my sports bra and a less revealing shirt, especially when the dude next to me was checking my boobs for breast cancer. Also, I don’t know if the music brings back memories of ballet for some women, but tutus should remain in your closet of memories than at an EDM concert, especially a show hosted by your Jesuit university in the school gym where the most space between you and the person next to you is none. We are one and I don’t like your artificial tutu rubbing against my arm as you attempt to awkwardly jump and dance to the music.

Second, women are beautiful human beings, but we have too much hair to deal with. Before going to an EDM concert, you need to know what you’re up against and one of those battles is HAIR. Long, thick hair. Ladies, either put your hair up and save us all from inhaling your conditioner or shave it off. LOL actually just shave it off. That would be more entertaining.

Third, I AM GOING TO WRITE THIS IN CAPS SO THE MESSAGE GETS THROUGH, BUT IF YOU ARE A BORING PERSON AND WOULD RATHER STAY HOME WITH A GOOD BOOK (no objections there) DO NOT ATTEND AN EDM CONCERT. I LIKE TO DANCE. I LIKE TO JUMP AND I CAN HEAR YOU IN FRONT OF ME SAYING “WHY IS THIS GIRL DANCING SO HARD?” WHILE YOU STAND THERE LOOKING AWKWARD WITH A CASE OF CHRONIC BITCH FACE. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE CLOSE CONTACT WITH OTHER PEOPLE, DO NOT ATTEND AN EDM CONCERT OR ANY CONCERT WITH GENERAL ADMISSION. YOU WILL HATE YOUR LIFE AND YOU WILL RUIN THE EXPERIENCE FOR EVERYONE ELSE. Either stand in the back or get lost in the crowd.

Fourth, it’s funny how guys think when the light are off so are my senses. No. I know you are trying to grab my boobs and caress my butt. Next time just ask me. I will still say no.

Fifth, back to my observation of men, you guys rock. Seriously, bringing your girlfriend to an EDM show means you either love her or you’re desperate to take her home by the end of the night. Acting as her body guard as she drunkenly tells you she loves you and pretty much makes a fool of herself, you have my sympathy.

It might sound like I had an awful time, but it was a fun experience! I was smiling and laughing the whole night. I really enjoyed St. Lucia’s energy, danced my little heart away and avoided as many vomiting freshman and sweaty human beings possible.

Music Choice: “Closer Than This” by St. Lucia.

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