Rapunzel, Rapunzel Let Down Your Weave

What the hell is a paraben? A diffuser? A BAYALAGE!?

Since the years of ironing hair with a literal iron and ironing board or almost accidentally slitting your throat while cutting your hair with a knife, women have used our innovativeness to create newer hair products and ways of styling our head so the dead cells look.. well, less dead. I see women with weaves and can’t help but think that there was a girl from India wearing that hair a month ago, and now it’s caressing your butt crack. Like, who thought of the idea of re-using hair? That’s gross. Anyways, as I sit here on Sephora.com and decide whether I want a styling gel or styling creme wondering “WHAT THE HELL IS THE DIFFERENCE?” I start to think this has gone too far.

First I must ask myself, “Clarissa, what kind of hair do I have?”

Fine? I’m fine, thanks for asking.

Curly? Yeah, it curls I suppose.

Wavy? Well, it does that too.

Damaged? Hey, that’s not nice.

Thirsty? … No.

All I know is my hair is full of secrets. NICE, BIG SECRETS.

While I try to figure out my hair type and why this shampoo for “only curly hair” works for “only curly hair” (because god forbid I have one wave, my whole head will set on fire), I will leave you with some good tunes.

Now Playing: “Ain’t It Fun” by Paramore. If I had hair like Hayley Williams, I just wouldn’t give a shit.


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